just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
