Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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