so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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