Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
