next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was confusing and full of hummus
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
