so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize