Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
