Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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