whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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