Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
