farters have to be the big spoon...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
