two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
