Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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