I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
