Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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