How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do vagina's smell?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
