Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
