she looked like the before picture.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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