why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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