So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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