you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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