You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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