I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
