I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize