Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize