Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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