She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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