You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize