i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
