I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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