so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
