you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
