Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
