i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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