I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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