Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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