Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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