Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
