I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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