Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
