You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
