Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
