dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
