UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
