I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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