She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
