You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
