My first STD was from a foam party
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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