Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
