I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
