Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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