I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
