You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
