awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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