My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
