Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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