You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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