So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Did you just see the Batmobile???
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
