When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
