It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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