ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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