Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
