I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
