apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It was confusing and full of hummus
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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