why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
